93/7

Is intense anger ever a problem in your home/family?  You might remind yourself of this: only 7% of any attempt at communication is comprised of the words themselves.  The other 93% is comprised of : our tonal quality, our decibel level, our facial expression, our body language, and our gestures.  Don't believe it?  Try this experiment:  Walk up to your sweet little puppy and say, "I sure do love you."  BUT, here's the catch:  wrinkle your brow,  shake your fist, deepen your voice to a growl, and scream at the top of your lungs: "ROVER, I SURE DO LUUUUV YOU!!!!!"  What's Rover going to do?  What any sweet puppy in his right mind would do in those circumstances: tuck tail and run.  OR, growl back real good, bearing his teeth, if his fears really take over.

You see, here's the problem: when we're embroiled in a heated discussion with a family member, what we're hoping for is light.  We want the light bulb to go on in our family member's head so that they will see things with the same clarity with which we see things, BUT when we yell and scream at each other, we get so much heat that light becomes impossible.  We had a bad day at work or school so we naturally take it out on those we love the very most- after all, they won't leave us- or will they?

SO, let's stop yelling and screaming at each other in our homes- what do you say?  And while we're at it, let's avoid ego attacks at all costs and replace "YOU" accusations with "I" statements.  Do those things and we just might be on the road to restoring family to the safe haven that it once had the reputation of being.  Wouldn't that be something?