4/30

Much of the anger in our homes has as much to do with timing as it does with issue.  We drop something heavy on each other just before we head off to work in the morning or immediately upon arrival at home in the afternoon, and then we either steam all day about it or else the evening sinks quickly into cold silence.

So, let's take some advice I heard Dr. Paul Faulkner give decades ago, and work on that, shall we?

Let's designate four thirty minute periods of our day as "sacred", meaning that we promise that we as a couple/family will refuse to allow ourselves to lay anything heavy or negative on each other during these four thirty minute sacred spaces.  Here are the Four Sacred Times: the first thirty minutes after we arise in the morning, the last thirty minutes before we go off to work/school, (By the way, in too many American families, these are the same thirty minutes- in other words, we are creating our own stress by how late we get up each morning.  By the time our feet hit the floor, we are already in a hurry, running, rushing, grabbing a quick Pop-Tart, irritated at ourselves and taking it out on each other.  We need to set the alarm a little earlier and hit the snooze button a little less!), the first thirty minutes home from work/school, and the last thirty minutes before we go to bed.  That two hours of each day should be reserved for positive, healthy conversation only.

Some might argue, "Well, that wouldn't leave any time for fussing."  My answer, "Would that be so bad?"  And besides, we would still find the time to discuss those heavy things that need discussing.  I know because I've had hundreds of clients over the years who have practiced this discipline successfully and have come back to thank me for suggesting it.  I always say, "Thank Paul Faulkner.  He's the guy who taught it to me"  Thanks, Paul.  Not just for this, but for all you and Carl Brecheen have done over the years to help Joan and me get to Anniversary #47 next Tuesday, June 4th.  We couldn't have done it without you.